The warning signs

Truth is I should have read the warning signs. This occurred on a couple of occasions prior to baby/engagement/marriage. The dreadful reality of such ****wittage by the male in-law(note I can't use the term father-in-law as this would suggested some paternal patronage,care or regard) is that old conundrum should I have taken the evidence and walked away from my beloved. Because no matter what anyone says who would choose people that upsets them in their lives, particularly when you are a well adjusted fairly functional adult. The stress of others impacting on your relationship is hard to cope with.

The first alarming warning sign was when male in-law attempted to kill me. In his mind he would reason he was trying to expose me. Unfortunately for me I suffer with an allergy to a particular food and the severity of the allergy is I would suffer an anaphylatic shock resulting in death if I failed to receive treatment within a few minutes. That is the extremity if I ingested accidentally the food. It is a shellfish (I won't go into to much detail due to anonymity) and I have received full medical treatment, advice and carry an epi pen, antihistamine and wear a medi alert bracelet. Now I realise this is a pain, for myself and others but I do get bored of the idea that somehow one is being a) faddy aka Gwyneth et al with macrobiotic diets or b) somehow I can be cured.

In the case of b) mindless ignorance is a precursor of every ailment known to mankind. It usually takes the form of mind over matter. The male in-law is a big subscriber that everything is solved by mind over matter. Anyone displaying any ailment from a slight cold to cancer is a wastrel who is failing to sort themselves out.

Hence, the attempt on my life. I overhead the b*****d telling his friend that in the restaurant we were going to that night they had some great items I'm allergic to and he should order them. I heard this by chance and thought am I being paranoid. Mind you I'd suffered all week as beloved is a far better skier than me and despite the fact I'd mainly been with ski instructor all week to improve, I couldn't help but get the holding 'his son' back vibes because I was only doing black moguls not runs. Nor was I rushing to join them at every available opportunity. Never mind I was better than their son-in-law at skiing, nor complemented on my improvement by other party members, I should be bowing down to my beloveds superior skills and following him at 10 paces no matter what!

Given I was getting a battering I dismissed the food ordering incident, one wouldn't want to appear sensitive. Then, that evening prior to going out to eat, after telling his son some bad news he told him to control me! I wasn't allowed to cause a fuss if X wanted to order x shellfish that evening i.e. mention I was allergic. How my heart hardened at that moment - it was as if the ice queen has put a splinter of ice in my heart. I sometimes wonder if it didn't dent my love for then boyfriend now husband. But at least I knew the measure of the male in-law. Murderous swine.